The film starts off with FP aka Full Pant (Boman Irani), the owner of 'Michael Mishra Dhaba', telling a bunch of tourists about the 'legendary' greatness of Michael Mishra (Arshad Warsi). FP then, recalls the entire flashback incidents that transformed a simple tailor Michael Mishra into a 'tailor-made' Michael Mishra. FP states that, Michael Mishra, when on duty as a tailor, accidentally kills his customer. What follows after that are series of incidents that transforms the simple Michael Mishra into a dreaded don, who becomes a self confessed 'kidnapping specialist'.

There are movies whose existence baffles you. The Legend of Michael Mishra is a worthy entry in this infamous league. Why is the word legend used so loosely? Why is Patna, where the movie is set, looking a lot like Mumbai? Why is Kala Paani more like a 1980s boot camp on a remote island than a prison? Why is Kayoze Irani dressed up in drag? Why is the young Michael Mishra ogling at a girl who looks half his age? Why should we care for Michael?

Some films are so painfully awful that they can safely be categorised under: what were they thinking? Clearly, the people responsible for this enterprise must have thought they were making a comedy. But it made me cry: for the terribly wasted talent of the terribly talented Arshad Warsi, as well as his cohorts who've done so much better in earlier outings.

There is nothing legendary about this film which glorifies a Patna-based kidnapping kingpin. It is a forgettable affair. But, what may stop you from wiping out this film completely from your memory is that it's made by the same director who gave us the brilliant Mathrubhoomi in 2003. Full Pant (Boman Irani) welcomes a group of touring students into a roadside eatery (dhaba), and forcefully narrates them the story of Michael Mishra (Arshad Warsi).

The word "quirky" was perhaps floating about in director Manish Jha's head while he conceived and created this film. Two words, actually: "quirky" and "kitsch". Everything about this Bollywood film screams out the team's effort to be both. It is neither. The Legend of Michael Mishra (LOMM) starring Arshad Warsi and Boman Irani is about a hooligan/gangster whose ambitions and career are entirely shaped by his life-long quest for the girl he fell in love with - and lost - as a child.

Michael Mishra (Arshad Warsi) is a popular goon from Patna, known for kidnapping. In his teenage years, Michael, once a popular tailor, accidentally kills someone and soon enters the world of crime. Whilst running away from the police, he comes across a young girl and there is love at first sight. While he returns to the same place that he saw her, destiny does not let them meet. Years later, he comes across Varsha Shukla (Aditi Rao Hydari) whose 'Hello' is the same as the little girl who he met years back.

While there have been reports of the film facing protests in Punjab owing to religious references, it won't be wrong if it faces issues elsewhere owing to hurting the sensibilities of a 'thinking' moviegoer. For starters, the film is absolutely absurd. You wonder if the actors were given a valid script to begin with. It looks like they wore their own clothes, wrote their own lines and danced the way they wanted to without an expert guiding them whatsoever.

Never has a movie been more inaptly titled. There is nothing remotely legendary about The Legend of Michael Mishra and its protagonist. This film is a shoddily packaged cock-and-bull yarn that makes as little sense as an alligator waltzing on an autobahn. To cut to the chase, The Legend of Michael Mishra is so egregiously bad that it isn't funny. Written and directed by Manish Jha, a filmmaker who once upon a time brought home an award from Cannes, is everything that a comedy should never be.