Race 3

If 'I have no words' could be an actual review, I'd leave it at that. But if you absolutely must know, Race 3 doesn't merely demand you to leave your brains behind but guarantees you won't find them anywhere even after the ordeal is over, much worse if you're suffering it in 3D like yours truly did.

A dysfunctional, ultra rich family, shady deals, fast cars, high speed chases, sassy women, macho men and enough plot twists to make Abbas Mustan go groggy with delight, Race 3 has all these and more. And apart from the razor sharp action, it's also a Karan Johar film at heart, what with 'it's all about loving your family' as it's primary motif. Plus it's all in 3D, what more can you ask for really?

What do you need for a Race movie? Firstly, an assortment of beautiful, bad people. These folks need to be staggeringly stylish and gleefully free of morals - even when it comes to their own family. So in the first film, brothers try to kill each other and in the second, a brother and sister are murderous betrayers. In the first, both brothers have an affair with the same woman, prompting that memorably cheesy dialogue - Kya zamana aa gaya - shaadi chhote bhai ke saath aur suhaag raat bade bhai ke saath. There are no heroes in this franchise. It's 50 shades of grey.

In a scene in Race 3, Salman Khan's character says, 'Har kahani ke do pehlu hote hai. Two pehlus.' There are two pehlus to this film too -- first, it is atrocious and second, it will mint money at the box-office nonetheless. Khan's superstardom has reached such a high that even one of his worst outings in the past decade, Jai Ho (2014), has done R100-crore-plus business at the box office.

Race 3, by choreographer-turned-director Remo D'Souza, is a slow, dim-witted crawl to nowhere. Wherever the Salman Khan-starrer was planning to race to, it doesn't get there despite the fact that it is so long that half-way through the film I could feel my waxed armpits starting to sprout hair.

Sikander urf Sikku (Salman Khan), the nephew of arms dealer Shamsher (Anil Kapoor), Sikander's step brother Suraj ((Saqib Saleem) and step sister Sanjana (Daisy Shah) don't appreciate Shamsher's fondness over Sikku. Shamsher's loyal (Sharat Saxena) and his son Yash (Bobby Deol) carry forward their loyalty. An arch rival Rana (Freddy Daruwala) is hungry to eliminate Shamsher and is a constant threat.

Shamsher Singh (Anil Kapoor) is a billionaire illegal arms dealer who has had to leave Handwa (really!!!), India and relocate to Al-Shifaa, UAE, because "the situation back home got too-hot for him to handle.'' His nephew, Sikander (Salman Khan), who grew up in Beijing, is the apple of his eye and Anil's ill-mannered, 25-year-old, twins-Sanjana (Daisy) and Sooraj (Saqib) are jealous that their father can't see beyond Sikander.

Race 3 is a beautiful film. It does not take anyone's expectations into consideration. It delivers way, way more than it promises. Is that a good thing? The answer is both yes, and no. Yes, because Race 3 is a film that Salman Khan's hardcore fans will watch on loop, for years to come. It will be worshipped in Salman Khan's own chain of theatres for decades as the perfect Bhai film.

Before you all decide to book your tickets and grab a seat to watch much awaited Salman Khan starrer 'Race 3', here's a little piece of advice-keep your logic at the backburner. The action thriller is a third part of the blockbuster 'Race' franchise and is directed by ace choreographer turned filmmaker Remo D'Souza.

Shamsher Singh (Anil Kapoor) is an international arms dealer operating out of a desert island named Al-Shifa, where he stays with his twin kids Sanjana (Daisy Shah) and Suraj (Saqib Saleem) and step-son Sikandar (Salman Khan), who is Shamsher's go-to guy for tricky operations, much to the chagrin of the twins, who can't stand their step-brother.

Salman Khan Films and Tips Industries Ltd.'s Race 3 (UA) is the third film in the Race franchise. This time, however, it is a suspense thriller about one family. Shamsher Singh (Anil Kapoor) lives life king size in Al Shifah and has a yearning desire to return to Handiya in India some day, the town he grew up in and from where he had to flee once he and brother Ranchod Singh (Milind Gunaji) were framed as traitors.

Salman Khan's Eid offering has always kept Bhaijaan fans excited. Despite not-so-encouraging review of Salman's last Eid outing Tubelight, Race 3 was being positively looked forward to because of the blockbuster performance of Tiger Zinda Hai and the hysteria around the popular Race franchise. However, this third instalment of Race franchise, helmed by Remo D'Souza reeks of pretentiousness. Even Salman's evergreen charisma fails to do justice to this movie with no concrete storyline.

The thriller, starring Salman Khan and directed by Remo D'Souza, reeks of bad writing, terrible dialogues, pretentious acting and a lame plot. It's also a classic example of how throwing wads of cash into an action thriller and dolling it up with snazzy cars or having its gorgeous but questionably talented stars do slow motions cannot save the day.

Race 3 begins with Salman Khan - aka Sikander - standing atop a building. The entry shot is replete with cars being blown up, motorcycles being run down and drone shots of the skyline. Sikander is the saviour/bodyguard of the Singh family: patriarch Shamsher (Anil Kapoor), who is also Sikander's uncle; and Shamsher's children Suraj (Saqib Saleem) and Sanjana (Daisy Shah). Shamsher's life is in danger, and as Suraj and Sanjana fight off miscreants who want to kill their father, Sikander makes his entrance - jumping off a building, dapper in a suit with guns in tow.

At some point well down the road in Race 3, as I slumped low in my chair, passing the time, a character said, 'I've got a bad feeling about this'. Ding dong, news flash: we could have told her that right in the beginning. Given our experience of the Race franchise, we were fully prepared for bad guys, fast cars, faster gals, dazzling foreign locations, shiny dance-floor moves, locomotives that cost more than a good sized 2BHK flat, supersize mansions, and a thin plot saved by a twist or two.

The formula - a bunch of super-rich blokes and bling-bedecked broads gypping each other in a game involving power, pelf and perfidy - has worn awfully thin. No amount of surface gloss and 'explosive' action can lend a fresh veneer to the rickety vehicle that Race 3 is. With all the junk in the trunk, it delivers a ride that is bumpy, noisy and aimless.

There is no story in the film, but just because I've to fill up this space let's talk about what's there in the film. There's one dysfunctional family lead by Shamsher Singh (Anil Kapoor). Following the cliched storyline of family movies, there are some internal conflicts between Shamsher's step son Sikandar (Salman Khan) and twin children Sanjana (Daisy Shah) & Suraj (Saqib Saleem).

The Race franchise always seemed to be India's answer to the slick, mind-boggling films Hollywood churned out every year. With betrayal as its central theme, both Race and Race 2 delivered when it came to twists and turns that would make you do a double take on everything that you believed in. With some crazy action sequences and hot dance numbers thrown into the mix, the films in the franchise looked uber cool and stylish.

The sibling directors Abbas-Mustan must be laughing up their matching white sleeves, wondering how a cheerfully tacky but occasionally enjoyable franchise built on the themes of seduction and betrayal could get derailed in such spectacular fashion.

The Singh family comprises of Shamsher (Anil Kapoor) his step-son Sikandar (Salman Khan), twins Suraj (Saqib Saleem) and Sanjana (Daisy Shah). They run a business of illegal arms and trade with the help of their friend Yash (Bobby Deol). Things get dramatic when Jessica (Jacqueline Fernandez) meets Sikandar and the family ties are strained under each characters ulterior motives.

For those who came in expecting Salman Khan and director Remo D'Souza will reinvent Race 3, hold your horses. Race 3, and you can quote us on this, is as formula as it gets. The director has added nothing new to the Race franchise, earlier helmed by Abbas-Mustan. If anything, Race 3 is juvenile in its approach. Gloss and glam are expected to mask bad writing; Salman Khan and the all-star team supposed to be your distraction from the half baked film.

When RACE [2008] arrived in cinemas, everyone expected it to be a decent suspense fare. But the film exceeded everyone's expectations thanks to its stylish narrative, performances, writing and most importantly, the numerous unpredictable twists! RACE 2 [2013] didn't reach the level of its predecessor, forget going beyond it. Yet, the franchise had a lot of steam left. The producers obviously realized it and they have now come up with RACE 3. This time, the film is bigger in terms of scale and grandeur and moreover, it also features one of the country's biggest superstars, Salman Khan